That is a sensitive question. And the answer is not easy either. Especially because you expect to be able to relax in family and that you are also expected to relax when visiting family. But nothing is less true. I even dare to say that it is very difficult to really relax with family. Precisely because in those places the memories in your body are actively touched. Everything can be touched, both the fun moments with each other, but also the less fun moments and the most traumatic experiences can be touched at a family affair. So much so that you relive them, as it were, while the situation may be different now.
So the question now is how can you relax yourself into this? It should be clear that these situations are the most intertwined with your body. With your memories and experiences. I would start by learning to relax in your own environment, one that is all yours alone. A place where you feel safe. Try to create it. It can be a corner in the bedroom. I think this is also why people like to have a space to themselves. Other bodies can touch things on you that you don’t always want. By having your own space you can find the silence there and discover IN yourself what memories there are when it comes to Family in this case. It is often the case that you do have similar experiences with other people, at work or in other situations. Yet it is often with family that you notice the most because you want to be loved there.
When you have space for yourself, it is nice that you can let your thoughts run free and possibly write down what thoughts come to mind. You do nothing with this, you only determine what goes through you and what emotions this evokes in you. In the beginning, keep yourself to 10 minutes not to force it, because then it is no longer safe. Very deeply buried experiences cannot be forced. If sometimes you suddenly feel now I get it, the experience may have settled somewhere else and you start again / move on. This is fine, you are entering a process of developing consciousness. This is step by step. Something that evokes too much fear somewhere only hides deeper. Too much pain is also a way of the body to pull even further away. If you want to be awake or become more awake about what’s going on inside yourself, your feelings of security determine how far you can and want to go. Forcing really doesn’t make sense. But this also requires knowledge about yourself. Many people force themselves without knowing it, that is also a matter of discovering yourself.
fter you gain more self-knowledge by consciously thinking, at a certain time and in a certain time, you will train yourself, your mind and your body to be busy with this. This brings order IN you. This also requires training to incorporate a slightly different lifestyle into your daily life. The purpose of this is that you get to know yourself and understand your own motives. You should gradually discover patterns in your life. And believe me, there are many more than you think and also so common that you always overlook them and go. Some behaviors, which you have actually started to create unnaturally, can unconsciously cause a lot of anxiety / stress without you even being able to think of this. This is because it is so common that you do not experience this as an anxiety/stress impulse in your conscious life. You should find this kind of behavior IN yourself in order to relax in a gathering with your Family.
As you get used to 10 minutes of looking IN yourself, you can also practice sharing your discoveries with friends. This is again a process and learning how to do it on your own. Especially not to accuse others, because that too is an almost normal movement when examining yourself. It is quite difficult to stay IN yourself in discovering who you really are or in Truth. There are all kinds of ways to ‘blame’ someone else for that. Even life itself is often the culprit. If you gradually manage to stay more IN yourself despite all the ‘dangers’ lurking there, you will begin to understand and understand yourself. This way you no longer have to work hard to be heard or seen. This alone ensures more relaxation. That’s not to say that the memories in your body won’t kick in once you’re back with the family. The physical imprints take the longest to settle down and something new can come along. Now you are practicing with others in what you encounter and you dare to say so. That in itself is very brave. Because you stopped saying everything because you got rejected on that. If you say it anyway, the fear of being rejected will rise again and you will at the slightest movement of your boyfriend / girlfriend withdraw yourself. Not because he / she rejects you, but because you yourself are too afraid of your own pain that can be released. In this you will learn that you reject yourself, but don’t give up and keep sharing what lives IN you.
In this way you get to know yourself on deeper layers and life becomes more and more interesting. This will change you, in the sense that you become MORE of what you are. There will be more clarity about who you are and where you come from. When you go to your family in this way, you gradually discover that when people don’t “learn,” they stay in the same behaviors. This way you can look at it more and more freely and you will no longer be affected by it. You learn to deal with that mentally, but more importantly, you also learn to put the memories in your body to rest. This is a process of years. That is good to realize, because despite the whole process you can try to honor your family, even if it is sometimes not easy. No more contact with family is not an option, simply because your (family) body goes everywhere you go. Because your body carries the past and often even further back, your family is the perfect composition to discover yourself and thus your true worth and to free the past. If you really want to know who you are and why you are here, follow these steps and if you need more consultation, come to our Domain or take a walk with us. Just to discover new things, because as hard as it is sometimes, it is very rewarding in the end and your love for Life and your family will take on meaning.